Determining who we are or how we are doing in life by comparing ourselves to others will never give us a stable or reliable measure of our well-being, because comparative judgments always shift based on who we are comparing ourselves to. We do not need to live our lives measuring ourselves against external standards set for us by others. We do not need to limit ourselves to those options. When we view who we are on the model of interconnectedness, we know that we are no single thing — not a fixed or bounded identity. The options for who we can become are as boundless as the number of points in an open network. Since we are related to all other points, we can strengthen our connections and grow in any directions. We can set our own course in life.

I feel that seeing ourselves as interdependent rather than as separate individuals is more productive because it offers more opportunities for freedom. We do not need to define ourselves by how we stand up to an endlessly moving external measure. Individuality gives a sense of restriction. Interdependence gives a greater sense of possibility.

17th Karmapa

from the book Interconnected: Embracing Life in Our Global Society

Read a random quote or see all quotes by the 17th Karmapa.

Further quotes from the book Interconnected:

• Inner freedom is key
• The ability to experience genuine closeness
• Becoming stuck in a quagmire of self-obsession
• Enthusiastically benefiting whomever we come in contact with
• Our innate ability to connect with others
• Interdependence always works both ways
• Enjoying the goodness of what you are doing
• A Vast and Complex Web of Causality
• Concealing our weaknesses
• Cultivating a spirit of generosity
• The impulse to connect
• Viewing others through the lens of interdependence
• Interdependent individual
• Bringing about real change in the world
• Experiencing connection rather than isolation
• Discovering new potentials
• Focusing on our inner interdependence
• Recollecting kindness
• Individualism or interdependence