17th KarmapaWe may want to do away with a problematic relationship, without addressing the underlying cause of those problems – in our own mind and heart. There is a Tibetan saying: “You are angry with the yak, but you whip the horse.” This reminds us how ridiculous it is to respond only to things that are not the real cause of our unhappiness. Love and emotional well-being rest within us, not outside of us. Therefore, in order to develop real love and to have healthy relationships, there is no way out of it: we need to probe our own mind and heart.
True love can sustain us when we learn to approach it in the right way. In order for love to be lasting and wholesome, the place to begin is by seeing the wholesome potential we have within our mind and heart. We should know both the faults and the good qualities that lie within us. This means recognizing the capacity for real love that we have, and facing the attachment and hatred that we may also have. The capacity for lasting love rests within our heart, but so do the obstacles to loving well: our self-centered habits, our attachments, our aversions, and our expectations.
Be like a lion ~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
Dilgo Khyentse RinpocheWhen you run after your thoughts, you are like a dog chasing a stick; every time a stick is thrown, you run after it. But if, instead, you look at where your thoughts are coming from, you will see that each thought arises and dissolves within the space of that awareness, without engendering other thoughts. Be like a lion, who rather than chasing after the stick, turns to face the thrower. One only throws a stick at a lion once.
Attentiveness ~ Buddha Shakyamuni
Buddha ShakyamuniAttentiveness is the path to true life; Indifference is the path to death. The attentive do not die; The indifferent are as if they are dead already.
Mere observation ~ Mingyur Rinpoche
Mingyur RinpocheIf you don’t try to stop whatever is going on in your mind, but merely observe it, eventually you’ll begin to feel a tremendous sense of relaxation, a vast sense of openness within your mind – which is in fact your natural mind, the naturally unperturbed background against which various thoughts come and go.
A deadly serious attitude ~ Chögyam Trungpa
Chögyam TrungpaLack of humor comes from a deadly serious attitude. If you are not meditating properly, sitting still and upright, you think there will be someone standing behind you with a sharp sword, just about to strike. This is the self-consciousness of watching yourself. Actually it is not Big Brother who is watching; it is Big Me! Another aspect of me is watching me, behind me, just about to strike, just about to pinpoint my failure. There is no joy in this approach, no sense of humor at all.
Antidote to our ego-clinging ~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
Dilgo Khyentse RinpocheWorldly people use their religion, in order to have success in business, to acquire power and situations of prosperity; but if they fall sick, lose their position and so on, they think their gods are displeased and begin to think of them as demons.
If through the Mind Training we become proud and boastful, it will be as Gampopa once said: Dharma not practised properly, will bring us down to the lower realms. If we become pretentious and conceited, we will certainly not be practising Dharma.
Because of our pride, the Mind Training, instead of taming us as it should, will make us all the more hard and obstinate. We will become so arrogant that, even if we were to see a Buddha flying in the sky, or someone suffering greatly, with his intestines hanging out, we would feel neither devotion for the qualities of the Buddhas nor compassion for the sufferings of beings. The whole point of the Dharma will have been missed. It does not help to station soldiers at the western gate, when the enemy is in the east.
When we have a liver complaint, we should take the proper liver medicine. When we have fever, again, we should take the appropriate remedy. If the medicine we take is unsuited to the illness we have, our condition will be all the worse.
In the same way, we should apply the teachings so that they act as an antidote to our ego-clinging. Towards everyone we should consider ourselves as the humblest of servants, taking the lowest place. We should try really very hard to be modest and self-forgetting.
Become part of the experience ~ Chögyam Trungpa
Chögyam TrungpaOnce you are really into something, you become part of that experience or it becomes part of you. When you become part of the teachings, you are no longer hassled. You are no longer an entity separate from the teachings. You are an embodiment of them.
Where Do Thoughts Come From ~ Pema Chödron
Pema ChödronWhen the thoughts arise it might occur to you to wonder where they come from. Where do they come from? It seems as if they come from nowhere. You’re just faithfully following your breath and—Wham!—you’re in Hawaii surfing. Where did it come from? And where does it go? Big drama, big drama’s happening, big, big, drama. And it’s 9:30 in the morning. “Oooh. Wow! This is extremely heavy.” A car horn honks, and suddenly you’re not in that drama anymore, you’re in another drama.
I was once instructed to meditate on thoughts. I investigated the nature of thought for two whole months. I can tell you firsthand that you can never find a thought. There is nothing there of substance, but with our mind we make it Extremely Big Deal.
Unless we turn inward ~ 17th Karmapa
17th KarmapaIt is harder to get rid of kleshas such as hatred, jealousy, and desire than it is to get rid of mere external adversity unless we turn inward and work on ourselves internally. As long as we fail to do that, and are focused only on externals, it is very difficult to develop true love and compassion.
A Prayer of Peace ~ 14th Dalai Lama
14th Dalai LamaMay I become at all times, both now and forever
A protector for those without protection
A guide for those who have lost their way
A ship for those with oceans to cross
A bridge for those with rivers to cross
A sanctuary for those in danger
A lamp for those without light
A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
And a servant to all in need.
Never lose yourself ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Thich Nhat HanhLive your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself.
Becoming the breathing ~ Chögyam Trungpa
Chögyam TrungpaThe attitude toward the breath in meditation is to become the breathing. Try to identify completely rather than watching your breath or just observing the process of breathing. You are the breath; the breath is you. Breath is coming out of your nostrils, going out and dissolving into the atmosphere, into the space. You put a certain energy and effort toward your awareness of that. Then, as for in-breathing, should you try to deliberately draw things in? Thats not recommended here. Just boycott your breath; boycott your concentration on the breath. As your breath goes out, let it dissolve. Just abandon it, boycott it.
Guided by Compassion ~ Mingyur Rinpoche
Mingyur RinpocheMost conflicts between people stem from a misunderstanding of one another’s motives. We all have our reasons for doing what we do and saying what we say. The more we allow ourselves to be guided by compassion – to pause for a moment and try to see where another person is coming from – the less likely we are to engage in conflict.
Breaking barriers ~ 17th Karmapa
17th KarmapaWhen spiritual beliefs are used to build up walls between people, this is a total misunderstanding of the purpose of spirituality. Spirituality should mean coming closer to yourself. When this happens, you become closer to others, too. Spirituality and religion should dismantle discrimination and labels, not shore them up. It should break, not create, barriers between people.
A firm ground ~ Chögyam Trungpa
Chögyam TrungpaThe teachings of the Buddha are a treasury of wisdom that has been passed down from teacher to student for over 2,500 years. Many styles of teaching have developed, but all of the schools of Buddhism present the means to realize the awakened state of mind. And all of them emulate the example of the Buddha, the Awakened One. This is a very important point to realize in the context of presenting tantra, or the vajrayana teachings of the Buddha. It is both dangerous and fruitless to attempt to practice tantra without first establishing a firm ground in the basic Buddhist teachings.
Widening the Mind ~ 14th Dalai Lama
14th Dalai LamaIf we think only of ourselves, forget about other people, then our minds occupy very small area. Inside that small area, even tiny problem appears very big. But the moment you develop a sense of concern for others, you realize that, just like ourselves, they also want happiness; they also want satisfaction. When you have this sense of concern, your mind automatically widens. At this point, your own problems, even big problems, will not be so significant. The result? Big increase in peace of mind. So, if you think only of yourself, only your own happiness, the result is actually less happiness. You get more anxiety, more fear.
Dharma in degenerated times ~ Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche
Dzongsar Khyentse RinpocheIn the degenerated time, the Buddha-Dharma is even more potent, so the degenerated time should not be used as an excuse for discouraging oneself. It should be encouraging.
Experience ~ Mingyur Rinpoche
Mingyur RinpocheThe degree to which any experience repels, frightens, or seems to weaken us is equal to the degree to which such experiences can make us stronger, more confident, more open, and more able to accept the infinite possibilities of our Buddha nature.
Relating to hardship constructively ~ 14th Dalai Lama
14th Dalai LamaHardship, in forcing us to exercise greater patience and forbearance in daily life, actually makes us stronger and more robust. From the daily experience of hardship comes a greater capacity to accept difficulties without losing our sense of inner calm. Of course, I do not advocate seeking out hardship as a way of life, but merely wish to suggest that, if you relate to it constructively, it can bring greater inner strength and fortitude.
Establishing all beings in the dharma ~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
Dilgo Khyentse RinpocheA bodhisattva benefits all beings equally, without discriminating between enemies and friends. Giving food, clothes and the like to others can only bring them temporary and limited relief; it does not help them at the moment they die, nor after their death. But if you can establish all beings in the dharma, you will help them in a way that is both immediately beneficial and beneficial for their future lives. Practicing the dharma enables them to free themselves from samsara and achieve enlightenment – so that is the way to truly repay your parents’ kindness. Any other way is not enough.