Skillful communication is based on discernment. We need discernment to know when it’s time to speak and when it’s not—when it’s time to say firmly, “Stop it, that’s hurtful” or to speak softly and gently. Most of all, we need discernment about ourselves. What triggers or hooks us? How do we reach the point where our discomfort spills out into actions we regret? What calms our agitated mind, instead of pouring kerosene on the fire?

Pema Chödron

from the book Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

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Further quotes from the book Welcoming the Unwelcome:

• A fertile ground for training in being open minded
• Protecting Ourselves from Pain
• The wonderful irony about this spiritual journey
• Observe the Moment