The wonderful irony about this spiritual journey is that we find it only leads us to become just as we are. The exalted state of enlightenment is nothing more than fully knowing ourselves and our world, just as we are. Pema Chödron
Usually we try to ward off feeling bad, and when we feel good we would like that to last forever. In tonglen, though, not only are we willing to breathe in painful things, we are also willing to breathe out our feelings of well-being, peace, and joy. We are willing to give these away, to […]
Shame is a loaded word for Westerners. Like most things, it can be seen in a positive or negative light. Negative shame is accompanied by guilt and self-denigration. It is pointless and doesn’t help us even slightly. Positive shame, on the other hand, is recognizing when we’ve harmed ourselves or anyone else and feeling sorry […]
Skillful communication is based on discernment. We need discernment to know when it’s time to speak and when it’s not—when it’s time to say firmly, “Stop it, that’s hurtful” or to speak softly and gently. Most of all, we need discernment about ourselves. What triggers or hooks us? How do we reach the point where […]
Protecting ourselves from pain — our own and that of others — has never worked. Everybody wants to be free from their suffering, but the majority of us go about it in ways that only make things worse. Shielding ourselves from the vulnerability of all living beings — which includes our own vulnerability — cuts […]
At some point, if you’re fortunate, you’ll hit a wall of truth and wonder what you’ve been doing with your life. At that point you’ll feel highly motivated to find out what frees you and helps you to be kinder and more loving, less affliction driven and confused. Pema Chödron
Someone once asked me, “What would it feel like to have burned up all those seeds, to be a person who no longer has any aggression?” The person who asked this was thinking that such a person might be pretty boring. No juice, no passion. I answered that I really wouldn’t know from personal experience, […]
All ego really is, is our opinions, which we take to be solid, real, and the absolute truth about how things are. To have even a few seconds of doubt about the solidity and absolute truth of our own opinions, just to begin to see that we do have opinions, introduces us to the possibility […]
The Buddha is the awakened one, and we too are buddhas. We are the awakened one — the one who continually leaps, who continually opens, who continually goes forward. Being a buddha isn’t easy. It’s accompanied by fear, resentment, and doubt. But learning to leap into open space with our fear, resentment, and doubt is […]
Bodhi means “awake” and citta means “heart-mind.” Bodhicitta is a longing, a yearning, that comes to fortunate people to wake up, and specifically to wake up so they can be of help to other people and to the earth. It’s very common that people want to be free of suffering and go about it in […]
There is a teaching that says that behind all hardening and tightening and rigidity of the heart, there’s always fear. But if you touch fear, behind fear there is a soft spot. And if you touch that soft spot, you find the vast blue sky. You find that which is ineffable, ungraspable, and unbiased, that […]
No one ever tells us to stop running away from fear. We are very rarely told to move closer, to just be there, to become familiar with fear. I once asked the Zen master Kobun Chino Roshi how he related with fear, and he said, “I agree. I agree.” But the advice we usually get […]
We can rightly say that the thinning of the ozone layer is a scientific fact; it’s not simply an opinion. But if the way we work with trying not to further harm the ozone layer is to solidify our opinion against those we feel are at fault, then nothing ever changes; negativity begets negativity. In […]
There’s no problem with being where you are right now. Even if you feel loving-kindness and compassion for only one sentient being, that is a good place to start. Simply acknowledging, respecting, and appreciating the warmth is a way to encourage its growth. We can be where we are and at the same time leave […]
Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in-between state. It’s the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than buy into struggle and complaint. The challenge is to let it soften us rather than make us more rigid and afraid. Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling […]
None of us wants to be miserable; we all want to be happy. But we can’t achieve this aim if we stay stuck in biased, narrow-minded thinking. No matter how much we long for joy, it will elude us if we continue buying into concepts of right and wrong, good and bad, acceptance and rejection. […]
We are at a time when old systems and ideas are being questioned and falling apart, and there is a great opportunity for something fresh to emerge. The time we live in is a fertile ground for training in being open minded and open-hearted. Pema Chödron
Whatever you experience in your life – pain, pleasure, heat, cold, or anything else – is like something happening in a dream. Although you might think things are very solid, they are like passing memory. You can experience this open, unfixated quality in sitting meditation: All that arises in your mind – hate, love, and […]
The ground of loving-kindness is this sense of satisfaction with who we are and what we have. The path is a sense of wonder, becoming a two- or three-year-old child again, wanting to know all the unknowable things, beginning to question everything. We know we’re never really going to find the answers, because these kinds […]
When we think that something is going to bring us pleasure, we don’t know what’s really going to happen. When we think something is going to give us misery, we don’t know. Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. We try to do what we think is going […]
