The third near enemy of compassion is idiot compassion. This is when we avoid conflict and protect our good image by being kind when we should definitely say “no.” Compassion doesn’t only imply trying to be good. When we find ourselves in an aggressive relationship, we need to set clear boundaries. The kindest thing we can do for everyone concerned is to know when to say “enough.” Many people use Buddhist ideals to justify self-debasement. In the name of not shutting our heart we let people walk all over us. It is said that in order not to break our vow of compassion we have to learn when to stop aggression and draw the line. There are times when the only way to bring down barriers is to set boundaries.
Pema Chödron
from the book The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times
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Further quotes from the book The Places That Scare You:
- A flexible identity
- Our Shared Humanity
- Cultivating equanimity
- Compassion takes courage
- Abiding in openness
- The essence of generosity
- Doing all with one intention
- Threefold purity
- Stay!
- Forgive into freshness
- Our true nature and condition
- Nothing and no one is fixed
- Whatever we encounter
- Being inspired by everyday good fortune
- The queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere
- The anxiety of opening
- Everyday uncertainty
- Cultivating equanimity
- Happiness