Every one of us has been hurt by people we have cared for, and although we may insist we have forgotten all about it, we rarely have. To help ease any lingering pain, visualise them in the place of honour, and as you arouse bodhichitta, wish them everything that is good. If thinking about them continues to be painful, it is a sign that you have not let go of feeling they have wronged you. Try not to focus on it. Instead, admit to yourself that you are still holding on to your pain. Then concentrate on wishing them every happiness and long to take all their sufferings on yourself. And do bear in mind that for those who are really serious about practising the dharma, difficult relationships provide the most fertile ground for practice.
Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche
from the book Not for Happiness: A Guide to the So-Called Preliminary Practices
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Further quotes from the book Not for Happiness:
- Being able to start practicing right away
- Sources of our inspiration
- Rip that ego apart
- Relative and absolute truth
- It’s all a matter of motivation
- The decision to follow a spiritual path
- Three higher trainings
- Opposite direction to dharma
- No substitute for being guided by a guru
- Maintaining a strong grip on the habits
- Merely the product of your own perception
- Dharma is not a therapy
- Our fundamental problem
- Sadness
- Mara’s five arrows
- Nothing genuinely works in samsara
- Mind-made illusions
- It cannot be fixed
- Very little time left for practice
- We must also practice it