There’s a slogan in the mahayana teachings that says, “Drive all blames into oneself.” The essence of this slogan is, “When it hurts so bad, it’s because I am hanging on so tight.” It’s not saying that we should beat ourselves up. It’s not advocating martyrdom. What it implies is that pain comes from holding so tightly to having it our own way and that one of the main exits we take when we find ourselves uncomfortable, when we find ourselves in an unwanted situation or an unwanted place, is to blame.

This slogan is a helpful and interesting suggestion that we could begin to shift that deep-seated, ancient, habitual tendency to hang on to having everything on our own terms. The way to start would be, first, when we feel the tendency to blame, to try to get in touch with what it feels like to be holding on to ourselves so tightly.

Pema Chödron

from the book When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

Read a random quote or see all quotes by Pema Chödron.

Further quotes from the book When Things Fall Apart:

• Awakening is essential
• Exposing ourselves to annihilation
• Negativity begets negativity
• Until we got it
• Fully alive
• Disappointment
• Become Familiar with Fear
• How are you
• Only in our own experience
• The Possibility of Egolessness
• Don’t Set Out to Save the World
• The perfect teacher
• What is in front of us right in the moment
• Flooding the world with your kindness
• No fresh air
• Finding out what is true
• Abandoning hope
• Becoming unstuck
• Moving closer to the truth