Every one of us has been hurt by people we have cared for, and although we may insist we have forgotten all about it, we rarely have. To help ease any lingering pain, visualise them in the place of honour, and as you arouse bodhichitta, wish them everything that is good. If thinking about them continues to be painful, it is a sign that you have not let go of feeling they have wronged you. Try not to focus on it. Instead, admit to yourself that you are still holding on to your pain. Then concentrate on wishing them every happiness and long to take all their sufferings on yourself. And do bear in mind that for those who are really serious about practising the dharma, difficult relationships provide the most fertile ground for practice.
Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche
from the book Not for Happiness: A Guide to the So-Called Preliminary Practices
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Further quotes from the book Not for Happiness:
- Dawn of wisdom
- Spiritual practice is like riding a bicycle
- Practise whichever method works for you
- Our most important companion
- The merit of maintaining mindfulness
- Right intention
- Wealth is contentment
- Obstacles Create Fertile Ground for Practice
- To reject your aggression is a weakness
- Where does low self-esteem come from
- Adapting the Dharma
- Dealing with Emotions
- As they truly are
- Altruism bolsters self-confidence
- The signs of progress
- Just space
- Life is a stream of sensory illusions
- What is merit
- Avoid being distracted
- Absolutely nothing genuinely works